My Life

Personality Test

2008-02-28T04:52:00.000-08:00

My Personality


Neuroticism	83
Extraversion	8
Openness To Experience	13
Agreeableness	70
Conscientiousness	79

You rarely get angry and it takes a lot to make you angry, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. You tend not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice, however you feel superior to those around you and sometimes tend to be seen as arrogant by other people. You are well-organized and like to live according to routines and schedules. Often you will keep lists and make plans.

Take the Personality Test now or view the full personality report.

Great range of Jewelry.

Dunearn Military Band Concert

2008-02-16T18:42:00.000-08:00

2008-01-19T07:44:00.000-08:00

NIE Teacher's Investiture. These are my classmates who have gone through thick and thin with me in NIE. Too bad May isn't in the picture.

New life at PJC

2008-01-11T08:11:00.000-08:00

This is my time table for the time being. By the way, it's not slack ok! Still have to prepare a lot one leh.

This is my desk... quite spacious... and notice the "personal" printer. =)

Malacca Trip with Cell

2007-12-12T18:40:00.000-08:00

Went to malacca with Jerome, Kenneth, Zhongyu, Fredrik, Jiajin, Joel, ZhongZheng and Royce.

(Group Photo: Royce not in picture)

(Go-Kart)

(Tampin)

(Picture taken by Zhongyu)

(Group photo)

(Group photo)

(Group photo)

Genting Trip with DMB

2007-12-12T18:15:00.000-08:00

Genting is really not a very fun place for someone who do not gamble. But this trip has been wonderful for me because of the wonderful company of Dunearn Military Band members!!! Plus the feeling of playing in a school band once again... I must say that it is great!

Remember that when the band members reached Genting, discipline is still bit of a problem... the kdis just can't stop talking. But after a while, everyone has learnt to keep quiet when necessary and I'm really proud of the level of discipline that the band has displayed during this trip.

The performance of the band during the competition was ok. But the performance during the friendship concert was great. It was the last item of the day and we were receiving shouts of "ENCORE" at the end of the performance. Thanks God that it was a great performance or else it would be quite a wasted trip. Also thank God that it didn't rain when we were out in the theme park.

Really enjoyed the great company during the trip. Went outdoor theme park with the conductor, Mr Louis Yeo, and 2 of the teachers-in-charge, Miss Foo and Miss Tan. And we even joined the Sec 4s in their adventures later on. On another occasion, I also played bowling with the Sec 1s. It was great fun.

Just want to thank Mr Beh, Ms Foo and Ms Tan for their help. Also thanks to Mr Louis Yeo for the great fun. Also thanks to each and every band member for giving me a wonderful memory in Genting.

(The band)

(Hui xuan and me)

Zhongyu's birthday celebration.. Once again, the pictures say it all

2007-04-22T06:32:00.001-07:00

Birthday cake coming in

Birthday cake

Birthday present for Zhongyu

What's inside?

It's a new shirt!

href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_pmcYBiiYGso/Ritl4vmtkXI/AAAAAAAAAEs/AzgYPCTxKT4/s1600-h/1.jpg">
Zhongyu trying his new shirt

Ariel eating 2 pieces of cake.

Praying for Zhongyu

Praying for Zhongyu

Still praying for Zhongyu

Group photo 1

Group photo 2

Nights out with ex-colleagues

2007-04-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

Another outing with my ex-colleagues from Dunearn Sec. We went to watch "Tourista". It was a scary, bloody and gory movie... not recommended for the faint-hearted. After that we went drinking at TCC, then went COCA for buffet steamboat dinner. And finally went Jewel Box on top of Mount Faber for a drink.

It was an enjoyable night!

Me, Samantha and Yap

Ivan and me

Me, Clarice and Yap

Samantha and me

Clarice and Kristine.

Settler Cafe Outing

2007-04-03T07:28:00.000-07:00

Once again... the pictures say it all.... too lazy to type out grandfather's story!
=)

Group photo 1

Group Photo 2

Fredrik giving us instructions

Group Photo 3

Group Photo 4

Kenney's baptism

2007-03-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

Picture's from Kenny's baptism. It's as good as it looks!

Hectic Weekend

2007-03-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

Really had a busy weekend.

Friday - Was rushing SCLP with Wei Loon in school. Hoping to finish everything. But then the lab assistant chased us out... and I was quite drained also. So insisted that we go home and finish the rest. Weiloon wanted to finish everything in school... but I insisted that we should just go home. Took a rest and then continue to do the powerpoint at night till around 2am.

Saturday - Was at G12 conference the whole day. Was feeling a bit "seh" cause not enought sleep. But God came to refresh me and even rekindle a bit of love for Him in my heart. Thank God... really need that.

Sunday - Was rushing through the QED520 ppt slides... then rush for service. After which spent some time with MArcus Junior doing maths at Changi Airport. Really enjoy the time with him. Need to rush some more things later....

I am Neville !!!

2007-03-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

Recently doing a project on Pythagoras' theorem. Trying to inject Harry Potter into my project to make it more interesting for my kids. Happen to come across some psychology test and decided to try it out for fun. If you are interested can go to the following link to try it out.

http://pages.prodigy.net/hpdevo/quiz/index.html

Which HP Kid Are You?

The value of a 50-dollar note

2007-03-12T09:27:00.000-07:00

The story goes like this...

I met up a friend and passed him a $50 buck for his mission trip. Based on our friendship, it was really not much on my side. Yet my gift was returned with words of gratitude - "Thank you, it is a lot"

5 minutes later, I was walking back home, and a lady approahced me. She claimed that she's from China, HangZhou, just came to Singapore and has yet to settle down. She asked if I could kindly spared her and her friend some money for lodging and food.

Well.. She's a complete stranger, you know. Why should I give her any money at all? In fact, I was always taught to reject strangers' request for money, so why would I give her any money at all?

But call me guilble, stupid or anything you want. But I was reminded of Jesus' teaching to give to those in need, I gave them the remaining $50 in my wallet.

But I was given a shock when one of the girls said, "You don't really get our message. We need money for food and lodging. Can you spare us more cash?"

But remaining polite, and thinking that I won't be going to the ATM to just draw some more money to give them, I simply showed my wallet and said, "Sorry, that's all I have."

=====================================================================================

Thinking back... It's the same note.

A 50 dollar note usually last me slightly shorter than a week. Sometimes it's just enough for a day when I'm out with friends. That's the denomination that I would use in general cases, and that's what the ATM usually give me... $50 bills.

Giving that piece of blue paper to a grateful friend left me with a feeling of appreciation and joy. And yet the same piece of paper given to another person invokes a totally different feeling that left me thinking if I should have done it. Isn't human beings simply complex and perplexed?

Soccer session with the boys

2007-03-11T06:14:00.000-07:00

A soccer session outside Expo Max Pavillion on 11th March 2007, 4-530pm
The pictures say it all!

Kenny and Wayne posing before the game

Wayne and Kenneth posing

Splitting into teams

Fredrik's leg is still longer than you, Joshua!

Kenneth acting cute again

JOshua bullying little Ariel

Benjamin in control of the ball

Snatch the ball from him!

Fighting for the ball!

Striker in action

Another striker in action!!!

Group Photo

Night out with Ex-Dunearn colleagues

2007-03-10T19:00:00.000-08:00

Miss Samantha sent me an sms at 5pm, which I saw only when I woke up after a good sleep at 7pm. In the end, Ivan, Samantha and me decided to go out together. We met 9pm at BB mrt, and then took a ride in Ivan's car to Dempsey Clubhouse area. It was really a paradise area.

Finally found this place call PS cafe. It was sort of a high class area, with a piece of carrot cake seeling around 7buck. We waited for about half an hour before we got a seat outside the cafe. The scenery was peaceful and relaxing. And guess what, I've got a seat that was facing Michelle Chia and her friends!

It was really a great time. Great food, great environment and great company. And there was Ivan and Samantha having their intelligent debates about altruism and stuffs. We stayed in the cafe till about 1am. After which we decided to head down to Fong sheng for MORE food. But upon reaching the place, we changed our mind and went over to Lau Pat Sat instead.

This time round, we ordered 15 satays and some dim sums. After that we ordered another 12 extra satays. But this time round, the topic was more fun and relaxed. We talked about suicides and some weird and funny stuffs <*to be censored>. Samantha still have the energy to go on watching movie, but I guess that was enough as I still have to go church later. So we headed home after the whole thing.

Just one interesting thing to add... during one of our conversations, we were talking about the pros and cons of being a dunearn teacher and then someone made the remark: "There's no dunearn teacher in this car !!!"

Friends

2007-02-13T16:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night was with my bmt friends. And then I was thinking about friends in my life. Thank God that I still have friends from JC, BMT, Church, NUS and Dunearn whom I meet up quite regularly.

Just thinking about it... I do love to hang out with these friends, but out of all of them, my bmt friends are those whom I least love to hang out.

Basically there's only ONE reason why I least like to come out with them... and that's because they eat too much.

Ok... I admit that I'm a big eater also. But most of my friends are small eater. So I think that encourages me to eat less also. ** Wenguang, I think that's one reason why I enjoy being with you, cause you help me to control my diet. => **

So... dear friends, if you're reading this... please help me but eating less when we go out together, ok?

Update on Meranti Project

2007-02-13T16:21:00.000-08:00

Meranti Project was really great! Even though I was absent for church service for 2 weekends, but nonetheless God has used this Meranti Project to teach me things about myself.

First Weekend... We talked about stuffs like racism, stereotying, etc. Then I realised that indeed these are things that are natural to our basic survival instinct. Human beings clssify each other and stay with those in the same category for survival. Think that's something that I need to work on to be a better person. Should try not to stereotype people for their skin colour and looks.

Second Weekend... Talked about inspiring teachers. And we managed to have 2 teachers coming down to have a conversation with us. After the conversation, I realise that I've been taking things too hard and personally with people I've worked with. Especially with youths... sometimes I tend to be impatient with them and myself. And also sometimes I take responsibility for their life. Now, I know that I all I need is to give my best, and then leave the choice up to them.

It was a really great Project... I'll give it 9/10!!!

Busy week

2007-02-07T16:57:00.000-08:00

Wenguang... thanks for being so supportive of my blog... I'm so touched... WIll try to update more frequenyly.

This week is suppose to be e-learning week where we stay at home and learn through Internet, but then somehow it seems to be busier than before. Perhaps it's because of the assignments that are piling up.

Suppose to look for prof hasan regarding the Meranti Project, but then because of some miscommunication, had to played him out last minute... sort of feel bad about that... quite stressed by all these turn of events also.

And yesterday went watching Half-Nelson with Yejiu... didn't expect it to be one of those "artistic" shows... was a bit boring for me... and after that we went Pizza Hut for Tea, and then went Chinatown to walk walk... then poor Yejiu lost his EZ-Link Card.

Anyway... got to rush my assignment now. =)

Project Meranti

2007-02-05T02:34:00.000-08:00

Was spending my weekend over in NIE with other student teachers because of Project Meranti.

It was a great experience. Lot of food... wondering if I've gained weight over the weekend. Lot of discussion about issues on stereotyping, racism, othering... ... Really content heavy.

But love the ice breakers, tug-of-war and also the small group discussions. It was also quite free-and-easy.

One thing I learnt... never play dai-dee/bridge in NIE.. it's illegial!

2007-02-01T23:17:00.000-08:00

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

Tough journey

2007-02-01T23:03:00.000-08:00

The past few months have been a bit tough... going through some major ups and downs in my spiritual walk. Thank God that I finally pulled it through. Went through RL288 Retreat last week and it was a really great time we had together. (See picture on left : Top Left Clockwise -> Zhongyu, Wayne, Me, Kenneth, Marcus.

Really thank God for those who care about me in many ways. Also thank God for His family.

Now I'm in NIE and things are pretty ok. Going for some Meranti Project tomorrow. Still not sure what's the whole thing about. The say that it's a new project and we are the pioneer batch. REally feel honoured. But not sure how the whole thing will turn out to be. Really hope that this will be an invaluable experience in my NIE life other than all the assignments that are piling up now... =)

I'm a loyal sidekick

2006-09-27T00:30:00.000-07:00

You Are A Loyal Sidekick

While you aren't the most visable one in your group...
You're always up for a good time or conversation
And you stick with your friends no matter what
You may feel underappreciated - but it only seems that way!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

Male brain!

2006-09-27T00:26:00.000-07:00

Your Brain is 40% Female, 60% Male

You have a total boy brain
Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts
And while your emotions do sway you sometimes...
You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

I'm more left-brained!!!

2006-09-27T00:19:00.000-07:00

You Are 75% Left Brained, 25% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Quiz

2006-09-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

The anger of the Lord will last for only a moment, but his favour lasts a lifetime

2006-09-14T03:30:00.000-07:00

"Sing to the LORD, you saints of his;
praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favour lasts a lifetime;
weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning."
- Psalm 30:4-5

Came across this verse when I realise that I have been experiencing of what God felt as described by David when he wrote this psalm.

For the past few weeks, I've been doing a lot of scoldings. I hope that those who know me know that I am by nature very gentle and mild-mannered one. But I realised that to manage a class (especially when you are doing relief), it helps to be very fierce. And being fierce involves scolding.

But I must really thank God that so far, every time I scold a student or do some funny things to them, I'm not angry at all. I might be shouting and looking very angry, but my mind is always very clear.

And so, one moment I might be scolding my students, by a few minutes later I can actually laugh at some silly jokes.

Anyway... teaching is good so far. Really enjoying my time in Dunearn Secondary School! Love it!

Returning to the Lord

2006-08-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

Today church service was great.

Pastor didn't spend any time speaking on the sermon. But he brought us back to the Lordship of Christ in our lives. Just a few minutes of his sharing and then he opened up the altar for ministry. It was packed as many people, including myself, went up to rededicate our lives back to Jesus.

Think it's also about time I rededicate myself back to God... cause as I start work, I'm starting to lose focus. Want to spend quiet time, but just keep on procrastinating like my students. So my spiritual life just went a bit downhill. But thank God for his mercy, and Jerome released the Word in Romans 12:1-2 to me.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, peasing and perfect will. " - Romans 12:1-2

Starting to blog again.

2006-08-26T05:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a long long time since I've blogged. But recently has been reading my student's blog... so maybe affected by them, so decided to start blogging again. Many things has happenened since the last time I've blogged.

I've worked hard in my last term in school, graduated from NUS with a 2nd Upper Honours (Thank God for helping me reach that), went to Thailand for my graduation trip, been to my church camp in KL with my bro and mum, took a long holiday and finally entered in my teaching career.

The first few days of school was a bit scary. With kids climbing over my head when I'm trying to be nice to them, and the new environment, I took some time to adjust. Thank God that Michael was there, and that there were some friendly people around to be with. Things were easy as I've decided to be more fierce. It works! =) At least it works in most classes.

Hope that I'll be able to stay in teaching for long!

Hibernating...

2006-01-11T20:35:00.000-08:00

This is the picture of the bowling session on 26th December @ Marina Square. Notice the rose among the thorns? ha...

Anyway... the weather these few days have been rainy and wet. Can't go for my regular jog... can just feel myself getting fatter... must cut down on my food intake already. Also cause of the cold weather.. really feel like hibernaing and just go on sleeping forever... but can't cause my thesis is still much lagging behind. Really got to try finish typing my third chapter before end of this week then can start on the last chapter...

Anyway.. after several considerations... decided to drop Stochastic and Graph... don't want to be the one absorbing the B/B- in those modules... Just want to work hard this semester and try to do well and perhaps can raise my CAP to 4.0 and get a good 2nd Upper instead of 2nd Lower.

Well.. Back to my typing now...

Kranji Sec Camp + Monopoly @ Settler's

2006-01-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

Too many things happened in this camp already... And after writing all of them in my journal, now I'm also tired of typing it down. But if u interested can let me know I'll pass u my reflection.

Anyway... Still missing my dear 2A children... starting to feel like a father. ha...

Saturday went to Settle's Cafe for the 1st time in my life with wenguang, liwen and fai. I guess it turned out to be quite a good experience. Although we just stick to playing bridge and monopoly, we still had a lot of fun. Especially at the end of the game when Wenguang was the most wealthy and wen, fai and me had to do a merger to try to defeat him. It was one of the rare times where I laughed till tears came into my eyes. But felt that it's a bit sad that we didn't try other news games.

Looking forward to our next meeting at Fai's place!!!

More updates

2006-01-02T21:58:00.000-08:00

Been really busy these few days...

Busy with my thesis on "Avoidable and Unavoidable subgraphs of tournaments". Still not much progress especially with so many things on my calender schedule.

Was busy with packing of goodie bags on 31st December. Worked so hard from 12noon to 6pm. After that went to Macau Express with Jiajin to have a wonderful dinner. And We went Metro sales. I bought 2 short-sleeves shirt. When I reached home around 10pm I was super-tired and suppose to fall asleep quickly. But then I was really mad at some people and so didn't fall asleep that quickly. Thank God that talked with Andy from quite some time... and so thinking think of those angry things during that 1 hour of chatting and managed to fall asleep quite peacefully.

Had worship in Jerome's office on new year morning. Was late for half an hour cause I knew I had to settle those issues with God first. Thank God that it was a great G12 time in Jerome's office.

Went for the New Year Party... It was really wild and crazy... not really for me though... ha. Thank God that I had a good chat with some people. I believe that this year of celebration will be a year of breakthroughs for me too!

Hallelujah!!!

Updates...

2005-12-26T18:25:00.000-08:00

Wow... Haven't been updating my blog for the past 2 months... Was really busy with exams in Nov. Really smoked through but thank God that my results were better than what I expected!!!

After exams, I rested for a few days meeting up with friends and watching movies. And straight after that I went to Thailand for mission trip (Actually for G12 conference and Encounter Weekend). Really thank God for this mission trip cause He did a lot of wonderful works in my life through this trip.

*This picture is taken at the hotel in Thailand*

After coming back to Singapore, was packed with activities... so packed that I've decided to push away a lot of appointments with my friends, 'cause my thesis is still stuck there and I really need a lot of time to catch up so that I can answer to my supervisor.

Even the past 4 days was just really packed. Went to 3 Magic of Love shows on friday and saturday, sunday service, then bowling and christmas party @ Marcus and QIngyu's house on monday. Finally today can get a bit of rest and catchinh up with my thesis.

Really busy... but at least it was time well spent. Thank God I did not spent my holidays playing away.

Long awaited baptism photo

2005-11-06T18:22:00.000-08:00

Copied from Wenguang's blog. Don't sue me for copyrights ah

2005-10-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

The 90/10 Principle by Stephen Covey

Discover the 90/10 Principle.It will change your life.

What is the 90/10 Principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you.90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.We cannot stop the car from breaking down.The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%.The other 90% is different.You determine the other 90%.How? By your reaction.You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.You are eating breakfast with your family.Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just had happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.You curse.You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.She breaks down in tears.After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table.A short verbal battle follows.You storm upstairs and change your shirt.Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwi ng $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terribly. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.Why did you have a bad day?A) Did the coffee cause it?B) Did your daughter cause it?C) Did the policeman cause it?D) Did you cause it?The answer is D.You had no control over what happened with the coffee.How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time." Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a n ew shirt and Your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, Getting stressed out etc. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off! Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make thin gs worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle.Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.You will lose nothing if you try it.The 90-10 principle is incredible.Very few know and apply this principle.

The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.There never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It will change your life.

Weird Dream

2005-06-28T19:40:00.000-07:00

After looking through the photos taken at the NTU/NYP concert, love this picture the most cause I think I look great in this one. =)

Taken by Liwen's handphone. Yar... great handphone. Think I always look good in her phone. Must ask her to be the permanent photographer in all our outings!

This morning had some weird dreams. Dreamt of scenes from the show "Zhou Xiang Gong He" (the show that talks about the transition of Qing Dynasty to Rupublic of China). But it's sort of crazy. Forgot the storyline in my dream. But remember dreamt of the Emperor, the Empress Dowager and certain other characters in the story.

An interesting quote about women:-
Every woman needs to know that she is exquisite and exotic and chosen. This is core to her identity, the way whe bears the image of God. Will you pursue me? Do you delight in me? Will you fight for me?
- John Eldredge, "Wild at Hearts"

Obedience

2005-06-27T03:35:00.000-07:00

Quote :

"The way we will spend eternity is determined by our submission to His authority here [on earth]. Nothing else matters, except to live a life of obedience to His Will."
- John Bevere, "The Devil's Door"

Interesting book by John Bevere on how obedience to God can protect us from the bondage of sin.

2005-06-26T18:32:00.000-07:00

This photo was taken at Marine Parade Central during cell group using Kenneth's NEW handphone.

Fruitful Saturday

2005-06-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

My eldest brother wanted to drive my mum down to bugis today, so I tagged along so as to cut down travelling time for myself. Thanks God I tagged along cause when I left Bugis, I found that certain roads were sealed for NDP rehearsals. And all the buses that I can take down to church from Bugis are detouring. Thank God I was there at Bugis, or else I'm sure to be extra late for church service.

So no choice... have to take a cab down. And I was about 20 minutes early. Still feeling very down and upset when I reached church. But thank God that managed to release my burden in the time of worship. The release came in the form of a few tears coming out of my eyes. Thank God I didn't cry too badly. Ha!

Felt much better after service. Thank God!

Tired

2005-06-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

Been busy the past few days.

What have I been doing the 2 days? Working part-time, meeting Pastor Lily for CIP stuffs, writing cards for the jc students, meeting up people for dinner and chats.... been out the past few days and returning late every night(except Wednesday).

Attended NTU/NYP band concert yesterday night with Wenguang and Liwen and returned home about 1130pm last night. Just early enough to watch the Guess Show.

Sort of feeling exhausted right now.

Yes...really exhausted. Not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually also. Just sort of feel like resting at home for today and nua a bit.

But cannot lar... Still got to leave home at 3pm for my 5pm service. Most likely will reach home at 12 midnight again. Then tomorrow morning still have to go for SOL again. Really wish can just sleep and sleep and rest till I'm fully recharged again.

Felt sort of weak now... but I guess the best solution is to enter God's Presence and to find rest for my soul and healing for my spirit. =>

2005-06-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

Liwen, Wenguang, Steve

Independent me!

2005-06-17T02:22:00.000-07:00

Well... a few post ago I mentioned that my bro got married. But the thing is he's still living in the same room as me. Argh !!!!

Well... My brother and sister-in-law has gotten a HDB unit at Depot Road. But they're planning to spend some time renovating the place, and also preparing for their chinese wedding, then shift into their new flat. So... for the next few months, I'm still sharing room with my brother.

I'm not complaining. Just that sometimes my brother will read magazine late at night till he doze off. So, when I want to sleep, I'll always deliberately walk in and out of the room so that hopefully he'll wake up and switch off the lights. When this fail, then I'll just switch off the lights and go to sleep sheepishly.

Yar... talking about deliberately walking in and out of the room. Recently discover that I'm actually a person with a lot of "xin ji". But think of it.. my hidden motives are all very good one. Never had any intentions to harm anyone. So for those reading this post... please don't keep your distance from me.

Been slightly busy these few days. Mum's with eldest brother at church camp in malaysia from Wed till Sat. Which means that I'll have to do all the housework. So getting a bit tired. It sure ain't easy being a housewife/houseman.

Salute to all Fathers on Father's Day!!!

Cluster Camp - Rebuild Families, Renew Worsip

2005-06-13T01:19:00.000-07:00

Had a 3D2N cluster camp at St. Francis Methodist School. The theme of the camp is Rebuild Family, Renew Worship.

I arrived late the first night with Jiajin, Wanting and Ting ting after Maggie's birthday party. We were splited up into our games group and a a great time playing treasure hunt. The aim of the games is to find the 66 books of the bible that were hidden all over the school compound. Out of 12 groups, my group won the game as we had found 24 books out of the 66. The activities carried late into midnight and I slept at 2am after chatting a while with Jerome.

The 2nd was was real hectic. Had 3 hour of games from 130-430pm. Well.. Really like the games cause don't need to get dirty like the past 2 cluster games. Rested a while after the games. And we had 3-hours worshipping God from 730pm-1030pm. And that sort of concluded Sat.

Sunday was more of cell group and network time. And we entered a time when our leaders washed our feet for us. And then we had the Lord's Supper.

Well... This camp was sort of fast. Only Jerome, Jiajin, Fredrik, Guanhong and me were around. Quite sad that the rest of the guys weren't around. But I enjoyed the camp nonetheless.

2 busy days

2005-06-08T07:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a busy day... Went working "part-time" in the morning, then went to give "tuition" from 2-6. Lastly went outing with my NTU friends at suntec(can refer to the picture below). We went marche and stroll around suntec.

Today was another "busy" day. My 2nd bro getting married today.

Went to Raffles Hotel to witness the ceremony. Nothing much leh. Everything happened quite fast. Just before the ceremony start, I went over to Tecman to buy the book "Wild at Heart" after seeing the female version of "Wild at Heart" from Peilan.

Then they were entertaining their friends and it was sort of boring for me. Later both families went for dinner and we just had a 9-course dinner together.

2005-06-08T07:57:00.000-07:00

Outing at suntec

My brain

2005-06-07T08:55:00.000-07:00

Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female

You are both sensitive and savvy

Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed

But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

The Question behind the question.

2005-06-05T18:34:00.000-07:00

Sat sermon was really interesting. The story came from Luke 10:25-37. Just to sum things up... The expert in the Law asked "And who is my neighbour ?" in verse29 and then Jesus went to give the parable of the Good Samaritan. But actually, the parable is really answering the previous question on "What must I do to inherit eternal Life?"

A lot of times, we are like this expert of the law... We don't really get to the heart of the issue.

Recently, I'm "looking" for a job. And at the moment, there are 2 job offers and I'm really having a hard time deciding which job offer should I accept. But I realised that the crux of the issue is not really "Which job to accept", but it is "Do I really want a job?"

Frankly speaking, I don't really want to work. (Who in the world would want to work if they got a choice?) But cause of the long holidays and limited financial resources, I told myself I should get a job. But deep inside, I rather just laze around and do nothing.

Anyway... will spend time later to talk to God about it and hopefully I won't think so much then...

Interesting point

2005-06-02T18:36:00.000-07:00

Interesting points made by Dr Henry Cloud in his book Changes that Heal. You can find this in the chapter, "What is the problem?"

"The world around us is good and bad. The people around us are good and bad. We are good and bad. Our natural tendency is to try and resolve the problem of good and evil by keeping the good and the bad separated... This creates a split in our experience of ourselves, others, and the world around us - a split that is not based on reality and cannot stand the test of time and real life...

It was not always this way. There was a time on planet Earth when everythinh was all good. God had painted a picture on the canvas of reality, and the reality of his picture wa perfection. The creation, including humans, was without blemish. We were without sin...

We were not made to deal with the effect of the Fall... We were not prepared to be imperfect. We don't have enough grace inside to anesthetize us against the pain of our own badness. It is horrible ebough to feel sin; but the guilt of the sin is even worse...

Deep down inside, we all realize the difference between our ideal self, the imagined perfection, and our real self, the one that truly is.

Acceptance of good and bad is the biblical alternative. It is called grace and truth... We accept anad forgive the bad, while clinging to the ideal as an unrealized goal that we strive for in an atmosphere of full acceptance. We stand in grace. This strategy does not split the good and the bad, nor does it get angry and condemning, but it grasps onto both the good and the bad at the same time.

If we are hurting someone, God, or ourselves, this sin will grieve us if we do not focus on our guilt. That grief, called godly sorrow. will move us not to punish ourselves, or anyone else but to take care of the one being hurt. This is the essence of a love-based marality."

Terrible week

2005-05-26T18:54:00.000-07:00

It has been a terrible week.... and when I say terrible, it's really terrible.

It wasn't terrible physically. Even though it has been raining the past few days and I couldn't go for my regular jog, it was still ok.

It wasn't terrible mentally. I didn't think much for the past few days, but didn't stress out or go blank mentally.

But it was terrible spiritually for me. To be frank... hadn't been praying or reading the Bible much as compared to the past 2 weeks. Guess I was too sure of myself and thought that nothing could prevent me from growing near to God. Then out of the blue, when I didn't keep watch of myself... SIGH... and the rest is history.

I was brought back to the passage in Matthew 24:42, "Therefore keep watch because you do not know on what day your Lord will come"

So I guess I have to pick myself up from where I had fallen and start to run the race for God again!

Truth and Grace

2005-05-19T20:59:00.000-07:00

Was reading this book call "Changes That Heal" by Dr. Henry Cloud. And the first chapter of the book talks about Truth and Grace, which really amazes me and open up my mind. He describe the two in this way.

Grace:-
"Grace is the first ingredient necessary for growing up in the image of God. Grace is unbroken, uninterrupted, unearned , accepting relationship. It is the kind of relationship humanity had with God in the Garden of Eden... (Grace) is the relational aspect of God's character. It shows itself in his unconditional connection to us."

Truth:-
"Truth is the second ingredient necessary for growing up in the image of God. Truth is what is real; it describes how things really are. Just as grace is the relational aspect of God's character, truth is the structural aspect of God's character. Truth is the skeleton life hangs upon; it adds shape to everything in the universe. God's truth leads us to what is real, to what is accurate.

And he goes on to describe how dangerous is it to have grace without truth or truth without grace. And I could understand both cause I have experienced the both extreme.

I used to be a person with truth and without grace. And when I see someone doing something wrong, I just go ahead and address the issue. "Hey. That's wrong. Very wrong. The Bible says it's wrong. And you know it's wrong. You shouldn't be doing this."

But very often, it hurts the person when I address the issue without showing the love and acceptance. It will only create more barriers and hinder me from helping the person to overcome his/her struggle and to grow to be more Christlike. But then the other extreme really isn't helpful also.

"Oh... it's ok. God will forgive. God is good. No problem about it. He will understand. Just go on with life ."

Well... That's sure a lot of grace for everyone. And I have a friend in NUS who tells me, "Don't need to go church lar. Cause God will forgive me even at the last minute one right? So what's the point of confessing my sins and committing to Him now? Just wait till when I'm older lor. God always give chances right?"

And the author gave a wonderful illustration to grace and truth working hand in hand with respect to the adulterous woman in John 8:3-11. He wrote: -

"Jesus shows what it means to know grace and truth in him. He offered this woman grace in the form of forgiveness and acceptance... He also showed the power of grace as an agent to end separation from her fellow human beings as well. The Pharisees were no different from her: She was a sinner, and they were sinners... But Jesus did not stop with just acceptance. He accepted her with full realization of who she was: an adulteress. He accepted her true self, a woman with sinful desires and actions. He then gives her direction for the future: "Go now and leave your life of sin." These 2 ingredients together - acceptance and direction- serve to bring the real self into relationship, the only way that healing ever takes place."

Myths and legends and fairy tales

2005-05-16T18:59:00.000-07:00

When I was much younger (propably since primary school days), I started to really enjoy reading fairy tales, myths and legends. And everytime there's a long school holidays, I would not fail to go to the old Jurong East Library to borrow books on such genre.

I really enjoy those stories. Stories of witches, faries, goblins, orges, giants, dwarves, harpies, nine-headed serpents and of gods and demons. And also stories on the foolishness or wisdom of men when dealing with those deities. I'm simply captived by the world of mythical creatures and extraordinary tales.

And out of all these, I simply love Greek myths the most. Stories of the Gods of Olympia, of how they overpower the Titans, of the jealousy and wrath of Queen Hera, and how all the gods and goddess interfered with the lives of ordinary men and women. There are also stories of the half-God half-man Hercules, of how he started to kill serpents even when he was just a baby, and how he battle with the mythical creatures of the old. And also stories of ordinary men like Jason(and the Golden Fleece) and many others in a world where supernatural and magical powers decided the fate of mankind.

But after a while... I guessed I started to grow out of my world of supernatural stuffs. Stories like finding gold coins in a fish belly is really out-of-the world. But then God amazed me again when I read Matthew 17:27 when Jesus said to Peter, "go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours."

Ha... Isn't God such an amazing and humorous God? Finding gold coin in a fish belly... HA!HA!HA!

Encounter Weekend (13 -15 May)

2005-05-15T20:01:00.001-07:00

To start, I approach this Encounter Weekend with a lot of fear and trembling. First of all, this is my first time as a guide for the participants. Secondly, there are 7 people placed under my care officially. Unofficially 10 cause Gam didn't sign up and YeeKiat and Guoyong were in this Encounter also. But logically 4 cause Leslie is here to accompany Zhiwei, Gam is here to accompany Brian and YK and GY are taken care of by Kalai.

There was lot of pressure as I roughly know Leslie in my group. The rest of the people... never really know who they are. Also because there is a 30 year old guy(Edmund) "under" me. But thank God I was in Penang from Monday night to Thursday morning and so didn't have much time to worry and stress myself out in this week.

Friday came and there I was at the Encounter. And at first, it was really stressful cause it's very uncomfortable to be looking after 10 people and at the same time, knowing that there are people in my group who are more experienced than me. But thank God that Leslie and Gam gave me a lot of encouragement and support. Also thank God that Zhongyu was around with me, talking to me and helping me to see the picture better.

After a while, I came to terms that I had to stop focusing on my limitations and weakness and just allow God to come and work in me and through me in this encounter. And indeed God came powerfully in this Encounter. Even on the first session on the Father's love on Sat morning, God came powerfully and a lot of people were brought to tears during ministry time.

Shall skipped the rest of the stuffs cause I think I can just go on days and nights...

Just want to thank God for what He has done in my life even as I look back at this Encounter. Just to list a few of them:-

1. Thank God that at the end of the Encounter, I've known the guys placed under my charge more. Even though I did not have the time to build deeper relationships with all of them, I know that God has placed a love for them in my heart. I'm still missing them now and looking forward to the day where we'll all be together worshipping God in heaven.

2. Frankly speaking... I was more of in a daze throughout the encounter. But thank God that he has used me to release his love and words to his people. I'm a man of few words in prayers, but when I start to minister to his people, I'm just simply amazed at all the words that has come out of my mouth. And I'm really amazed at what God has done through me.

3. God has taught me a lessons on authority. Guess that I need to learn to take up authority over certain issues and stop letting certain things go their way.

4. God once again reminded me not to be distracted by the signs and wonders. Cause it's still our lives that he's looking at. It's more important that He wants our lives changed than to experience all the "lightning and thunder and columns of fires" that comes with His power.

Lastly, just want to thank God once again that I was given the privilege to come to this Encounter to be used by Him and to learn to be a more useful person for Jesus.

(P.S. Wenguang... dun be stressed if you're reading this. Will certainly share with you my penang experience. Won't share with you what you don't want to hear unless u want to. Hope to have the dvd session with you soon!)

2005-05-15T20:00:00.000-07:00

Me and "my" guys for the Encounter Weekend : (L to R : Me, Leslie, Joseph, Zhi Wei, Eugene, Gam, Brian, Edmund) Missing: Terrence

Penang Trip

2005-05-12T00:19:00.000-07:00

An account of my Penang Trip from 090505-110505 :-

The Trans bus left Lavender MRT station at around 9pm and travel by the 2nd link up to Penang. The air-con in the bus was extremely cold and I didn't rest well throughout the night. We reached the wonderful island of Pulau Pinang at around 8am and Weilun's sister, Janet, came to pick us up.

After resting a while, we went to have dim sum. We ate quite a lot for only $30RM. After that we wanted to try out the "authentic" Penang Laksa, but the stall was closed. So we travel to Penang Hill and took the rail up the hill. Took a walk around the hilltop... but nothing much actually. We stayed there for about 1 hour. After that we went back to the Laksa stall and tried a bowl of Laksa. It was very different. The soup was more Tom Yam style and there was quite a lot of grounded fish shreds in the Laksa. And I think I prefer the local laksa. After tasting the Laksa, we went to look for Pastor Grace (one of Weilun's good friend) at TOP(Tabernacle of Praise) but she wasn't around.

At the point... I was near to the point of blanking out as the weather is terribly hot and the air-con in Weilun's car is quite faulty. So we decided to head back Weilun's home. But on the way, we bought 2 packets of fried kway tiao, one packet of chendol and one packet of ice kachang.

It was such a relief to be able to go "home". We took a shower, tried the good food and had a afternoon nap till 5plus. Before Weilun took us to get our return tickets, we tried out the local KFC. And later we spend some time walking in a local shopping centre. After that, we tried some tasty western food near "Bai yun San" (White Clouds Hill). Then we went near the sea to try more good food. When we return back, we took a rest and play daide from 12 midnight to 2am.

When we woke up in the morning, we went to try the local Bah Tuk Teh. Vincent wanted to play pool, but too bad the shop wasn't open yet. So we just laze around the shop for a whie. After that, we went to look for Pastor Grace again and had lunch with her. Ate the local Hokkien Mee, popiah, Char Kway Teow and some fruits to aid us in digestion. Then we return "home" to do some packing.

In the evening, we took Jane's boyfriend's car to one of the local seafood restaurant and had a cheap yet sumptous meal before we return home. The bus left at 835pm sharp and I reached Woodlands Checkpoint at 440am in the morning.

Post exam "busy-ness"

2005-05-08T20:03:00.000-07:00

Finally my exams are over!

Pastor Khong preached a sermon on prayers during service. He spoke something that really open my mind... "The actual battle is not in the physical but in the spirituak" And yar... really need to perservere in praying for my loved ones. Really need to PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens) for the people around me.

Was thinking of fasting and praying this week... but guess that my Penanag trip will put the fasting on hold for 3 days. My spiritual father is quite worried for me regarding this trip... but I guess things would be ok as I felt the assurance from God. Just have to constantly remind myself to keep watch and to put on the armour of God constantly. Also have to pray for the people in the cell.

Also looking forward to the coming Encounter Weekend. Not only for Yee Kiat and Guoyong, but also for myself. Really need to encounter God afresh again...

Looking forward to 060505 11am

2005-05-04T18:59:00.000-07:00

Still looking forward to that moment where I can leave MPSH after finishing my last paper.

Frankly speaking, me didn't pia at all the past few days. Sort of just flipping through the 400++ lecture slides every now and then and trying to refreshing the ideas and concepts. Also not really in the mood to study. Nowadays just very distracted and not really in the mood to go deep into studying. But then again... I'm always like that during examination periods. Be it O levels or A levels, I'm always very slack during the last few minutes one. And I really have to thank God for always pulling me through enough to pass and get decent grades (So far... my worst grade that has appeared on the cert is a C5 for GP.)

Plans for the holidays... firstly, I think I just want to go through a major revamp. I think I will have to harden my heart to throw away a lot of stuffs which I won't want to keep. Next, I would try to reorganise my stuffs so that I can be highly effecient when I need to search for them. This includes copying all my files into one CD and clearing the computer space. All these preferbly done by 130505.

Was thinking I badly need to get a suntan too... Was thinking if I want to ask my Wang Xi- lookalike friend (dun get angry if you're reading this ah) to go along since he's so experience and such a good company. But it's pretty weird to stand half-naked in front of him leh. Feel so exposed and transparent... HA!HA!

Precious Gifts

2005-04-30T22:07:00.000-07:00

Recently there's a new guy in church. Don't know how to explain it but there's something about him that really brings joy to the people around him. I guess it's his confidence, openness and sincerity that's at work. But at the same time, can also see his simple and hungry heart for God.

He's a new believer, but the way he's so on fire for God really puts me to shame.

Anyway, he's "without" a spiritual father for the time being. And some of us are really interested and hoping that we can be the one God has appointed to take care of his spiritual growth. I guess that in one way or another, all of us can see that he is a precious gift from God to our family. Just as He has given us so many precious gifts (people like William, Jiajin... ... ), God is so good as too add to our family another precious gift.

But what defines a special gift? Someone who has blessed our heart? Or someone who's hassle-free? What if there is this guy who brings you a lot of headache and heartache?

I believe we're all precious to God. Despite our big problems, and all the times that we have choosen to run away from God, we're still precious in God's eyes. Yar... I guess I have the answer. Even those who give you lots of headache and heartache are still precious gifts from God. We just have to learn to peel off the wrapper gently and carefully so that the gift will be revealed and truly precious to us.

After God has spoken this truth to me, I then realised how bad I am. God has given me Jesus and Jesus has given me his life on the Cross. Yet, at times, I still choose to ignore God and dileberately sin. This is simply an act of trampling on God's precious gift to me. But God is gracious and I know he's holding my hand and teaching me to walk with him step by step.

For those of you who are reading this post. Hope that you are truly blessed!

Boring 2 days and interesting days ahead

2005-04-29T03:43:00.000-07:00

Been spending yesterday and today studying for Graph Theory I. Still a lot of proofs and theorems to be understood. But stress level is only about 10% compared to 99% last week cause I've finished the bulk of my exams. After the paper tomorrow, I'll be more or less extremely relax. Think my stress level will reduce to 1% after 1130am tomorrow.

What else after that... well... going to shop for Kenneth's birthday present with ZY, then going to meet up with Guoyong and Yee Kiat for Pre-encounter materials. After that will have the short celebration and cell. And then sunday will be meeting up with Guoyong for studies. After which will meet up with Jerome and Harvey for some stuffs. Really looking forward to what God is going to do in this meet-up. And after that is just preparing for my last paper on 6th May for the rest of the week.

And things are really so exciting... cause I'll be having fun with friends and also spending more time on ministry. But at the same time also slightly concern about my status... whether I will be staying back for honours or going to start work. Well... everyone tells me to go for honours... but I prefer to wait and see how things goes. Don't wish to die die stay behind just because everyone says so. Still waiting an answer from God.

Sob sob...

2005-04-27T02:09:00.000-07:00

Aiya... So sad today.

Was going to sms William and ask him how are things in SISPEC. Sms type till half way then my handphone auto shut off. When I on the handphone, the message "Contact Service" appeared on my phone and I'm unable to use it. But what the heck... still got to go sit for my paper.

After my paper, I went to the Nokia Shop at Jurong Point then they say that the repair service is at Suntec only and it might cost up to $80-$100 dollars (as my warenty has expired already). Was thinking of altering the date on my warenty card to get a free repair... but think better not lar... not good testimony.

Think for now have to borrow my mum's handphone first or else I'll be out of touch with the world. Was thinking of maybe go sign another cheap contract with M1 and get a new handphone at a cheaper price... Anyone got any recommendations?

Really upset over the phone lar... Listening to "Tong Hua" by Guang Liang now... sad sad song introduced to me by Kenneth during the last K-box session with him. Hopefully will feel better after crying it out... : (

Sleepless night

2005-04-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night was really bad... Sweating all the way and unable to sleep peacefully. Fan was on but still didn't help me to have a better sleep.

Had to pull myself out of bed at 630am for the morning paper cause I want to be early for the 9am paper. (I normally wake up around 730am) Don't feel really great as didn't get the rest i needed. Thank God I found myself to be pretty alert throughout the paper. Pia the 2-hour paper... didn't finish all the technical proofs, but manage to finish all the workable parts. Thanks to my cell leader for praying for the peace I needed... caues the worst thing that can ever happen to me is to panic and hand in a blank paper (which has happened to me before.). And that didn't happen to me today.HA!HA!

Guessed I'd also learn to let go already. Most lecturers like that. They just want to "kill" as many students as possible in the exams to distinguish the clever students from the average. Think they lack a lot of mercy. Maybe we should ask pastor to preach a sermon of mercy to my lecturers. But think of it... wonder if I'll be merciful to my students next time... HA!HA!HA! Still not really in the mood to study for my exams tomorrow. But I know I got to get down to it... at least for now.

Financial Maths is such a killer!!!

2005-04-25T00:51:00.000-07:00

As the title goes... the paper today was such a killer.Can get B I'll be happy already.

Even though this is the exam period, but a lot of things are just going through my mind. Ministry stuffs... so many things happening.. new people, encounter weekend, pre-encounter, SAJC CEll Reunion, post encounter, SOL...

Also all the more wordly stuffs like what to get for Mother's Day, when to meet up with Wenguang again, my contract with MOE, my IPPT with ZhengZhong in June, whether I'll be doing honours, whether I want to go Penang with Vincent or whether I should go Malacca with WanTing and Harvey... ...

Aiya... should learn to take things step by step... else I sure burn-out. Must go study for tomorrow's test now!

Frustration

2005-04-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

I believe that everyone has their own share of problems and frustration. And what do people do when they are frustrated? Some will scream their lungs out. Some will gorge on food. Some will try to hurt others. Some will even try to end their life to stop all these misery and frustration.

Screaming... not my type of reaction. I'll normally try to gorge on food. The old me would even try to raise my voice at someone... or even contemplate suicide. Doesn't mean that the "new" me wouldn't do that. But those scary thoughts just seem further and further away.

Why?

For one, I believe that God has placed wonderful people in my life. And when I say this, I don't refer to my church friends only. I refer to anyone who would show care and concern to me. Anyone who's willing to listen to me and share their life with me. Anyone who's willing to hear my dark secrets and still accept me for who I am. And I thank God for these wonderful people whom He had placed in my life.

And it brought me to a point where I realized the importance of listening. Was reading this book, "Listening To Others" by Joyce Hugget where she say that it's not just enough to listen and sympathize to someone. But we have to be like Jesus... to listen and empathize and to have compassion with them. To laugh with them and to wept with them. To be able to connect with them.

People are frustrated and people are looking for a channel to be heard, a channel where their feelings could be understood. But often, people choose the wrong solution and the wrong channel. I don't mean I'm more perfect than others, and often I still choose the wrong solution to my problems, and ended up hurting more than before. But life is a journy and I believe that God will be holding onto my hand even as I fumble and fall at times.

Lastly, just want to quote from a friend who's working as a social worker, "When things go wrong, it doesn't help to focus on the problem. Try to focus on the solution instead. And Jesus is the Perfect solution."

My Sabbath

2005-04-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Went to meet my spiritual son for tuition before service... but realise he wasn't in the mood. Lost his cuffs and got into some disagreement with his father. Guess he's pretty stressed with his SYF and songFestival thing... so we just walk walk and chit chat a bit. Was hoping that this will help him to relax and forget about the unhappy things. During service can see that he's quite "no mood" for worship or the sermon... really worried for him.

After cell group managed to listen to the testimonial of one of Zhongyu's cell member. Was really really blessed by his walk with God. Though he knew God for less than 1 year, yet his experience with what God can do in his life really impress me. Indeed God always do wonders.

Really envy Zhongyu that he has such a wonderful member. Not that I'm complaining or grumbling about my spiritual son for not being wonderful. In fact, he's been a great blessing to me by his willingness to share and to make effort in his studies. But it's natural that all parents want their kids to be the head and not the tail, and to be top and not the bottom. So I guess I'm still looking forward to the day where my "boy" becomes a man of God who will rise up to impact the world. Don't really know what I can do to help him, but I guess I really need to pray more for him.

Less than 36 hours before my first paper on monday. Haven't squeeze everything inside my head yet, but really has the peace of God which my cell group prayed for me just now. Thank God once again for the peace. Glory to God in the highest!

Exam stress

2005-04-22T07:27:00.000-07:00

Was really stressed up yesterday and today.
There's simply too much information to recall and too little time to go in depth.
Tried to stuff the knowledge into my mind but find that I'm highly ineffective.

Anyway... decided to let it be... as Jerome say, "Just do your best".
Think I also a bit "kan po hong cheng" already.
Been studying so much for the past years... perhaps coming out to work would be more fun?!?!
Ha... But I guess I still prefer studying in NUS cause things are more relax and time is more flexible.

Even though tomorrow is suppose to be my Sabbath (where I'm suppose to be spending time on God and His people the whole day), but I guess I still got to spend the morning trying to do some things... maybe clear up my MA3236 or IT2002 before going on to the past year paper?

Thank God for the peace in this time of stress!

The Spooks Show

2004-08-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

Finally, the Spooks show is over. And I'm left with a lot of questions. What have I done? Have I done enough? Why didn't I pray more? And stuffs like that.

Yesterday night went for the 1st Spooks show with Daw wei, Peixuan(DW's gf) and Weizhi. Well... Was quite disappointed that they left halfway through the preaching. Tonight went for the last show with Huixian, Jinsong and Peilan. Great that they stayed throughout the show. Anyway, really enjoyed my time with these wonderful people.

None of them went down during the altar call. But I felt nothing. Perhaps I'm immue to such stuffs? Or perhaps my heart is getting cold for the lost souls around me? But I do really hope they would raise their hands and accept Jesus into their lives.

Perhaps now, then most important thing for me is... Shall I go back to NTU band? I really enjoy the companionship in NTU... especially with Jinsong and GuanCun. But somehow felt that band activities are not that spiritually healthy for me in one way or another. Really caught in between. But then, the crucial point is still, whether God wants me back in NTU band? Think that before GOd speaks clearly to me, I wouls still go back...

School reopens today

2004-08-09T19:01:00.000-07:00

It's so exciting that school is starting today. And to think that I'm starting school with a free day, lazing around and doing things that need to be done. Think that this will be a great and relaxing semester for me!

Going to take MA2222, MA3111, MA3233, CZ3105, IT1002 and LSM1302. But most likely to drop LSM1302. Then can relax a bit with IT1002 and put my focus on the rest of the stuffs. Hope that I'll have good tutorial slots for this semester.

This would be a busy week for me... yet to fixed a tuition date with David. Dedication service for Spooks show on Wednesday. Spooks show on Friday night and Saturday night. Sunday morning service...

2004-08-03T18:46:00.000-07:00

First of all, just want to thanks Marcus for faithfully reading my past 2 posts and leaving down encouraging comments. Really made me felt so special and appreciated.

Met up with Jamie's business associate, Andrew, yesterday afternoon at Clementi Mac. Me really skeptical of such stuffs cause the way these people talk about money can be quite scary at times. It is as if they live, eat, breathe on money only (sounds like they've entered the M-12 vision right? HA!HA!) BUt Andrew is ok lar... didn't feel the Money vision consuming him at the moment. And I'm glad that Andrew has this idea of helping the poor and needy when he make it BIG next time.

The past 2 weeks preparing for "Music from the Hearts" was really fun... cause music is so much part of me. But at the same time, really had a bad time in my spiritual walk. Skipped 2 weeks of service (still don't know how to account to Jerome) and cell groups. Missed Ting ting's baptism and stuffs like that.

Really felt far from God and the church for now. Wondering if I'll start disappearing from FCBC like 4 years back. For now, the answer would be a "No".Even if it's not for God, it'll be for the people I love. But I know if I don't start picking things up, I might really put up a looong disappearing act. And it'll be really disastrous when it happens.

(But for you guys and gals reading this... don't worry too much about me. You'll make me feel weird if you people starting flooding me with your love and concern. Currently still quite ok. Just keep me in prayers hor. Believe things will be much better when school reopens next tuesday.)

Lastly... may the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob bless all of you reading this post. Amen!

Music from the Hearts 2004

2004-08-01T02:18:00.000-07:00

Finally, Music from the Hearts '04 has ended.

Can still remember that it was quite scary everytime we were informed about the bad ticket sales. I wouldn't say I had tried my best, but I knew I had put in effort... and managed to sold 6 tickets with the grace of God. But it was great that the band sticked through the whole thing together and the turn-out rate yesterday was still quite ok.

Personally, MFTH'04 was a better concert than Sojourn'04.

First, I guess that the pieces were easier and more receptive to the audience.

Next, I guessed that I've committed more of the concert to God this time round. Didn't felt as panicky as the precious concert. Could felt His peace with me on the stage whenever I focused on Him. Knew that Trumpet Concerto was one of the best piece for myself (least mis-pitches around). But when I got to the last encore piece (Copacabana)... hee... had quite a lot of errors.

Anyway... glad that it's over, and that though this time, my relationship with cetain people has improved.

Even went for my first movie "marathon" with Jinsong, Guan Cun, Tim, Kaisin, Peilan and Huixian. It was quite a memorable night for me.

But then came the standard question again... So what's next?

Ha... for now... the more important thing is to get the few of them down for The Spooks Show, and pray hard for the salvation of my friends. As for whether I'll continue to stay in NTU band...
That's another posting when God speaks to me lor.

Promises

2004-07-29T20:13:00.000-07:00

Promises to make. Promises to commit. Promise to keep.

Why did God ever create such a thing call "promise"? Perhaps it's His nature. Just take a look at the promises He made to His children.

He promises a hope and a future. He promises a mansion in Heaven. He promises His face and glory. And most important of all, He promises love and forgiveness on a Cross.

          *                  *                *

Most people doesn't like to promise. At least I'm one such person. I mean... why bind myself to something that I'm not confident of holding? I don't like to promise things, and then fail to keep them. Broken promises not only hurt other people, but they hurt me too.

But yesterday night I learnt something from the Channel U show, "Power of Love"  .

I guess that God is gracious enough, and that He knows that it's extremely hard for me to keep my promises to Him (*wink). But what He wants to see is me making the effort to commit myself to the promise I've made to Him.

Just like the couple who took the marriage vows and promised themselves to each other. Trials and tribulations might come... and even one of them could fall to the temptation of the world. But I believe that if both parties are willing to commit to this sacred promise that they have made before God's altar, it's good enough already.

               *                   *                  *

It was really a great struggle.

I guess I knew that God had wanted me to make this promise to Him long ago. But all along... I knew that I'll be too weak to keep it.

Too weak to come to His Throne of Grace.

Too weak to come to the Father's embrace.

Too weak to come to the Cross.

But I also know that it's not works that's going to bring me to Jesus. It's the small effort that I take that delights His heart. He has already opened up His 24/7 SOS helpline for me.

He's strong enough to come down from the Throne.

He's big enough to hold me in His arms.

He loves enough to go to the Cross for me.

What more could I ask from the precious Son of God?

            *                 *                 *

And so...

I made the promise to God.